BIG NEWS, HONESTLY

Big news: last night was my first official red carpet premiere (for a movie coming to theaters TOMORROW I might add). I wore fancy clothes, got acquainted with lots of flashing cameras, and saw myself on the big screen for the first time ever. I won’t lie to you – it was kind of surreal.

It’s an odd sort of feeling – pursuing a career that is so… visible. Don’t get me wrong, it was an absolute honor to be in this film and a thrill to be the focus of so many photographers. I am beyond grateful. But for someone so painfully shy as myself, it all felt a little… uncomfortable. After the lights, frenzy, and excitement all came to a fade, I was left alone with my thoughts and an increasing feeling of emptiness… 
Every setback provides a person with the opportunity to assess the true motives behind the dreams, and this time I came to realize this: I love to act. I love being given the opportunity to tell stories, to bring a character to life, to have the potential to change and touch others. I love being on set. I love making beautiful things with beautiful, creative, wonderful people… And I kind of hate everything else.
Sigh.
But what would a job be without some parts you just don’t love? What would life be? I suppose it was about time to wake up and face the fact that not everything about your dream job is going to be a dream… unless you plan on sleeping through the whole thing. 
And I, for one, would prefer to be awake.
So yes, big news: I walked the red carpet. But the even bigger news to me is this: the friends and family who were my support through the whole whirlwind process, and un-surprisingly have always had my back in life in general.
So thanks. You keep my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground. You know who you are. & I would not be here without you.
P.S. I hope this post doesn’t come off as ungrateful, unappreciative, or a lack of acknowledgement of what I have. I am ever grateful… of every part 🙂

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